


Colorado Is For Lovers

by MacabreLust



Category: South Park
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-28
Updated: 2018-10-23
Packaged: 2019-07-03 15:43:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15821964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MacabreLust/pseuds/MacabreLust
Summary: Every year was the exact same. Elementary school to freshman year, the same faces, the same stories reworked over again to try and chase the monotony of it all.It got to some more easily than others. There were those such as himself, that stopped caring, if they ever did to begin with. Lifeless walking corpses through the hallways just trying to push through to graduation.There were some who seemed unaffected living the same old story as if it was what they had been designed to do.For others, they found love. They comforted in one another and in staying alive just long enough to get out.The one continuous factor between all types in South Park was that they were all waiting for graduation, for their opportunities to leave the town with one stoplight in the dust. To escape the curse that had afflicted others before them and never return.Craig had categorized every single person he had ever known into this filing system, they all fit. All except one.Tweek.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Some veterans may know this work already, but while there are quite a few similar elements a LOT has changed. It's basically the same universe but a completely different story. If you read the first iteration of this you can probably wait until chapter 6 is rereleased because like I said most things will be fairly similar but a lot will also be added as well as taken away. Enjoy my dudes. I've been working very hard on this.

The hot afternoon sunlight had just begun to bear through a solitary window. It sat perched above a queen sized bed, illuminating the whirlwind of sheets that completely engulfed their owner. Clothed completely in the tattered galaxy print linens that he had owned since middle school, the formless lump of a boy began to take shape as he threw himself violently to the floor. This action was quickly followed by a loud, pained groan that echoed off the empty walls.

Craig’s room was similar to that of most of the teenage boys in South Park. He had a few posters of old bands his parents liked, a couple of pictures dating back to just before he stopped giving a damn about this place. Pictures with friends, places they used to go.  
He looked over at the digital clock on his bedside table, releasing an even louder groan once he had informed himself it was well past noon and if he were to make it to school now he would stroll in halfway into fifth period.

After a few moments of internally justifying not going to himself he unraveled himself from the sheets, shakily getting to his feet rather than continuing to lie there on the cold hardwood floor.   
His parents would already be off to work long ago and assuming his sister had made it to school alright without his dumbass he would have the place to himself.

He walked over to the ancient relic sitting on his desk across the room, flipping the CD player on to echo the tune of one of his favorite songs. The overplayed melody of Taking Back Sunday’s song, Liar always managed to bring a short half smile to heavily stoic features. It was one of those songs that his parents had gotten him into, and it resonated with him in a way that fueled his teenage angst like a fire.

The raven haired boy proceeded to make way to his closet, pulling down a worn pair of black jeans and a navy blue hoodie from the top of the closet. Once he slipped everything on and finished tying the laces on his mud stained converse he climbed back onto the bed, tracking bits of leaves and dried dirt all over his sheets as he opened the window leading out onto the roof.

There were so many days like this, buying time until the day it was all over. Days he slept in, barely made it to work, and almost never made it to school.   
He slid out onto the pieces of wood he had nailed into the slant of the roof so that he could climb out to where it evened out at the top. From here he had a perfect vantage point of almost the entire town, but better than that was nightfall. The second the sun would leave the sky this podunk mountain town revealed something glorious going on behind the scenes. The lack of light pollution was the only thing he was grateful for, Craig had always been fascinated with the stars and what lay beyond them.

A deep sigh escaped the boy lips as he reasoned that he had another six or so hours to kill before that happened. He pulled a half crumpled pack of Marlboro Blacks from his hoodie pocket, striking once of the matches he kept in the torn box on the rooftop and lighting his cigarette. They simply tasted better when lit by a match, though that still wasn’t by much because they tasted like shit. But that wasn’t the point. He exhaled letting his body give into the relaxing power of the deadly smoke. He mused that maybe this would go ahead and kill him so that he didn’t have to deal with this stupid shit anymore.

After a few minutes he had spent the thing and flicked the butt at the ground where a small pile of them was beginning to form. His parents hated him smoking. He knew that they knew and they knew he knew they knew. But they didn’t talk about it, just disappointed looks from his father whenever he came in smelling like smoke or his mother coughing dramatically and blaming it on the fact that she used to smoke a hundred years ago.

Deciding he had nothing better to do he climbed back down into his room, quickly tearing it apart looking for his cellphone, making it even dirtier than it had been before. When he finally found the small black device underneath his guinea pig’s cage he quickly refilled it’s water bottle before throwing himself on the bed. He swiped his unlock pattern after failing twice in a row and went about checking the twenty messages from Token and Clyde regarding his absence for the third time that week.

It was at least nice that his friends cared for him, even if the only time they ever really spent together was at school during lunch or when one of them had access to alcohol.   
Most of the time though Craig spent alone, walking through the woods south of town, sitting on his roof, locked in his room playing video games. It was sort of depressing but it was his own choice.  
He quickly responded to their texts explaining he slept through the first four classes so he had found no reason to head that way, but his mind quickly changed with the next text he received.

Token (2:03 pm) : ‘I heard Garrison say something about this being ur last chance 2 show up before they werent going 2 let u graduate.’

Token (2:04pm) : ‘BE HERE!!!!!!!’

“God damn it!” The boy shouted aloud to himself, quickly shoving off the bed and snatching up the nearly empty book bag set beside the door. Slinging it harshly over his shoulder he took the steps to the living room three at a time before rushing out the front door, turning to quickly lock the door behind him.   
He fished the keys from the side pocket of his bag, hopping into his truck and taking no head to the speed limit as he rushed off towards school. However, he did take the time to light another cigarette as he knew it would take at least five minutes for him to find a damn parking space at South Park High.

Once he found one suitable he hopped out, manually locking the drivers side of his beat up ‘67 Chevy and raced to the door. Heavily panting he made way through the completely empty hallways to his sixth period class, the second to last class of the day- but hell at least he made it.  
Slowly opening the heavy wood door to his history class, trying not to draw too much attention to himself, he quickly realized that all eyes were already on him, watching his every move as the door shut with an echoing bang when he released it.

“Nice to see you, Mr. Tucker. Have a seat.” The teacher said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.   
Mrs. Levin was a short, overweight, mousy haired teacher with round rimmed glasses that took up almost her entire face, her classroom was filled with weird trinkets that only the cruelest of educators found funny. Such as a small ceramic jar with the label ‘ashes of failed students’, and a ruler with the words ‘kid smacking stick’ etched into the side.  
He quickly nodded, scanning the room for Token, only to find his seat next to the dark-skinned boy had already been taken, leaving the only available space for him to sit at the very front of the room. Close enough to smell Levin’s breath and right next to Tweek.  
With a sigh he began the death march to his new seat, throwing his bag onto the ground and slumping into his chair as if the act of being there at all was physically painful.

As soon as the teacher turned to continue whatever drone she had began before he had arrived, the boy instantly zoned out.  
His attention moved first to the twitching mess of a blonde at his side. He was quietly scribbling notes into an evergreen notebook, every now and again dragging the lead across the paper involuntarily and moving to swiftly erase the mistake and start over. It seemed a tedious process, trying to keep anything legible with the crazy ticks that constantly shook the boy’s body, but he continued on despite the trouble- probably used to it by now.  
He became so entranced with this process he finally caught the attention of the other boy who met his staring with even more, twice as awkward staring.  
Tweek was one of those people, like most in South Park, that he had known practically his entire life. But he was perhaps the only one that still retained an air of mystery. Craig could tell you just about anything about anybody no matter how strange of a fact it was, but Tweek was the exception.   
The blonde had once been a part of their circle of friends, but somewhere along the line he had kind of just dropped off. He stopped meeting them at lunch, stopped returning calls, and altogether disappeared despite his appearances in class which were absolutely impeccable. Despite all that, Craig could still consider him a friend, at least he thought.

“Whats up?” The ravenette asked, his deep voice just below a whisper to avoid drawing attention to either of them and risking hearing the ear bleeding sound that was their teacher’s voice.  
Tweek just turned back to his paper, a small yelp escaping his lips as if he had been startled, now so buried into his notebook that Craig couldn’t even watch him take notes anymore.  
So he decided instead to study him. 

Since middle school he had had a slight growth spurt, but he still stood about a head shorter than any other male in their grade. He had lost weight, like a lot of weight, a disconcerting amount of weight.. He just looked fragile. Pale features contrasted by shockingly emerald eyes, dirty blond hair sweeping over his eyes in the same sort of disarray as his mismatched clothes, only fueling the fire of rumors that he was an addict. But he just didn’t seem that way, as mysterious as he was Craig would tell anybody with complete certainty that Tweek hadn’t so much as thought about anything more dangerous than pot- if that.

Before he knew it the bell rang and before he had a chance to speak the nervous blonde had darted for the door, excusing himself from the situation in the most dramatic way possible. He smiled.

The ravenette had known since he was eight years old that he was gay. In elementary school he had even had a short fling with the whirlwind that had just left the classroom. But sometime around middle school people had grown intolerant, and to be completely honest Tweek probably wasn’t gay.   
They went their separate ways and the whole thing became a joke that they still laughed about. And once again, Craig was the only one who knew he was gay. He had retreated back to the closet around the same time ‘fag’ became a commonly used insult. Even the people he let mildly close to him didn’t know.  
Through everything though, he couldn’t help but watch Tweek walk away, wondering what it would have been like if he hadn’t been born in this intolerant redneck mountain town.

“Dude, you’re drooling.” The thick sarcastic voice of Token broke through his thought pattern, making him realize they were the only ones from the last class still in there, the next class already piling in quick behind. “What were you thinking about?” The elder boy mused, throwing a playful punch at his shoulder accompanied by a head nod in Bebe’s direction as if that were the cause of his moment.

Craig laughed in return, giving the punch right back with twice the force receiving a nasty look from his friend as they finally left the classroom, going their separate ways to last period.  
A deep, audible sigh escaped his lips. One day, one day soon he would leave this wretched place and he wouldn’t feel the need to hide anymore. He wouldn’t feel the need to pretend like he had a years-long crush on Bebe just to keep the other guys from even bringing up the word. Maybe he’d make it somewhere he could finally just.. Let go, be himself.

After sleeping through the final hour, he headed out to his truck, exasperated by the thought that he would have to be here- every day, for the rest of the year.   
“Fucccccck.” He dragged the word out so impossibly long he attracted a few curious passerby before he finally hit the rusted old door of the piece of shit he called a truck.  
But it was also his piece of shit, his very own genuine garbage can on wheels that he had saved up allowances and eventually paychecks for about three years to afford.   
All that time he had waited just to be ripped off with this hunk of junk.

Climbing into the seat he slid the awkwardly shaped key into the ignition only to hear deathly wheezing of the engine sputter out rather than roaring to life.  
A few more hard turns and all he managed to do was flood the damn thing so that it definitely wouldn't start. Resigning to leaving the car parked where it was, Craig headed back out into the now nearly empty school lot. He fully well planned on walking his scrawny ass home when the familiar purr of a cherry red ‘98 Mustang pulled up beside him.

Token’s family was rich, they always had the best shit and Craig was always so jealous he hadn't gotten to grow up like that.  
If the ravenette had that kind of money he would be so happy..  
“Getting in or not?” The dark skinned teen smirked, revving his engine once more simply to ensure that Craig got a full dose of how incredible his car was compared the stinking pile he had just abandoned. 

But the thing was, Token never gave anyone a ride. Not even him or Clyde, his best damn friends. The Mustang was his baby and everyone knew that.  
Everyone was too afraid to so much as park next to it for fear of the repercussions if its owner were to discover even the tiniest scratch in the paint.  
There had to be a catch.   
“What am I doing in return? Because you know the prostitute rumors about me arent true.” Craig joked, sliding very gently into the passenger seat because he didn't feel like dying that particular day.

“You're gonna tell me everything you've got on your mind regarding Tweek. I'm not gonna let you fuck it up this time, got it? And don't even start with that hetero act bullshit I'm not in the mood.” Though the words were serious, they also held a completely lighthearted tone. 

Craig let out a dissatisfied click of his tongue, his body sinking back into the seat thinking about the smoking rule in the car and almost punching something out of anger.  
“I'm not fucking gay, Tweek is a damn friend I'd like to reconnect with if you don't mind calling me a fag every time I say hi to a dude.”  
Obviously he was lying, but there was no way he was gonna just blurt out that he was still in love with the shaky blonde teen after all these years. Even if it wasn't a boy, it was just damn pathetic to be dwelling on something that far in the past and he knew it.

“You're an asshole. He obviously still has feelings for you. Quit acting all high and fucking mighty and be a man.” Token urged the other teen, but to no avail. Craig has crossed his arms across his chest which meant the conversation was over. The elder sighed, switching back into first gear and pulling out of the lot prepared for the long silent drive ahead.  
If Craig wasn't so damn proud and Tweek wasn't so damn anxious then they could be happy. But at this rate it never looked like that was gonna happen.


	2. Chapter 2

Token dropped him off at his house after stopping by the gas station to buy him a pack of smokes. Because well, Token was eighteen and possessed an ID.  
He waved the ravenette off, speeding away in his car to once more assert the fact that his vehicle was fucking awesome.

Craig has spent the entire ride thinking about what the colored teen had said about Tweek and his feelings. Possibly their feelings for one another.  
Part of him just wanted to be happy, he wanted to believe his friend and go after that sweet blonde headed boy. To have the chance to hold him when he was scared, to protect him from his own personal demons and to simply be able to call him his own.  
The part was terrified. He had seen kids get kicked into the dirt just for being accused of being gay and he wanted nothing more than to fly under the radar until he could graduate and finally leave this intolerant place.  
Maybe then he could have Tweek.  
He sighed, entering the front door and heading to his room to smoke before his father got home and weigh the pros and cons of coming out of the closet. 

“I got a call from your principal.”  
As soon as his father stepped into the household, about an hour after Craig had returned from school, these were the first words to leave his mouth.  
Craig’s father was stern, he didn’t take any shit and the fact that he had received a phone call from the school instantly met that the ravenette was in, to put it politely, deep shit.  
He had hoped with everything that he could that him showing up the last two hours would stop that call, it would show that he at least tried, but the fire in his father’s eyes told a completely different tale.

“I slept in and they acted all offended like I wasn’t gonna show up,” Craig defended, moving from his spot on the couch to one with more exit options. He settled on leaning against the railing in case he needed to make a mad dash for his room. He crossed his arms over his chest, looking his father directly in the eyes because he knew avoiding that gaze only made it burn harder.

“You smell like cigarette smoke again.” His father mused, a disgusted look on his face as he took a hand to wave the air around him.   
Holy shit what a fucking dramatic bastard.  
Craig had to physically stop himself from chuckling at this ridiculous motion, residing himself to making the same stoic expression he fed everyone he had ever known. The kind of face that said ‘fuck off, I don't want to talk to you’.  
“You will show me some damn respect, and you will be going to school every day like you’re supposed to from now on!” Raising his voice like that meant that the teen needed to back down fast before things got violent.

He sighed, nodded his acknowledgment and as soon as he turned his back two fingers went up into the air causing a giggle from his sister who had been doing her homework in the kitchen this whole time.  
This made his father whip back around instantly, already knowing from experience that his dumbass kid was flipping him the bird like it was going out of style.  
“Abort!” Craig shouted, running up the stairs so quickly he caught the edge of the last step and face planted into the soft creme carpeting at the top of the staircase.

“Go to fucking school!” His father shouted from downstairs, officially getting the last word in and ending the argument.

Once he was in the safety of his room once more, he made sure to lock the door. Though it wasn’t as if anyone was going to come up to get him anyway. In his household if you wanted to eat dinner, it was at 6 and if you weren’t there then you didn’t eat. That was just that.  
Of course, if he didnt come down his mother would always wrap his plate and hide it behind the milk in the refrigerator for when he got hungry later.

The teen did a quick sweep of his bed, pushing off all the dirt and debris had tracked in through the window that morning and proceeded to flop down onto it, kicking up anything he might have missed. He instantly went for the phone in his pocket, only to find that no one had texted him since that afternoon.  
Not that he would have said yes to any offers to hang out, it was just nice to have them.. In case he ever wanted to actually get out.   
Deciding he had nothing better to do, he grabbed the wireless controller on his bedside table and started up some old off-brand zombie shooter he had run through to completion at least a dozen times. He kept saying he’d save up his tips to buy something new- but then he never came to work so that plan never really panned out either.

After a few hours of boredom killing, he began to stare at his ceiling. Maybe he would find someone to hang out with tonight- everything was just getting so damn old.. Monotonous, boring, shit.  
And just like the heavens had heard his plea, a soft chime from his phone rang through over the loud title screen music playing on repeat for no other reason than to be absolutely obnoxious.

Clyde (7:15 pm) : ‘Yoooo Kenny’s brother scored us some shit. Hmu loser’

“What an asshole.” The ravenette muttered to himself, shooting a quick text back to figure out where the hell he was going. After he had told his father what had happened with the truck, he went and retrieved and it sat outside, taunting him. It would have to do.  
Once informed they would be in Kenny’s garage, like always, he took the familiar path out the window sliding off onto the top of the garage and hopping into the bed of his truck.   
“Im a fucking ninja.” He told himself as he slid into the driver’s seat of his vehicle, only to be betrayed by the screaming hiss the engine made.   
The car wanted to die, simple as that.   
Knowing if he was gonna get caught, he had already sealed his fate, he sped off into the night leaving thick tire scores in the driveway to keep the hundreds of others company.

After a long drive to the other side of the tracks, he began to wonder if this was worth all the damn effort it took. He stomped his cigarette into the curb, not even bothering to knock on the side door of the McCormick’s garage as was custom. If someone were to knock, they were probably someone’s parents or the cops and they already had a protocol in order if that were to ever happen. But it never did. Way the fuck out here nobody cared what you did anyway.

“You made it, Tucker! I texted you like.. An hour ago..” Clyde trailed off, staring hard at the wall as if it held all the answers to the illogical, nonsensical things going on it that stupid little head of his.

“It was more like twenty minutes ago, and I live on the other side of town.” Craig reminded him, taking his spot in the half-broken lawn chair on the other side of the roach-ridden couch the other boy’s sat on as if they didn’t know.. Or maybe they just didn’t care.  
But he did. Gross.  
“You’re being a downer.” This time it was Kenny who spoke, a sexy smile plastered on his face as he passed the bottle of the cheapest vodka known to man. But everyone knows, the cheaper the vodka, the harder it hits. “The rest of it is for you, Clyde is to drunk as is and if I drink much more on top of this high I’m gonna be sick.” The orange-coated teen completed his thought with a flourish that would’ve spilled the entire bottle had Craig not been there to catch it.  
That was the thing about Kenny. Even if he ever thought about pursuing the boy, because god know he had the looks to back it up, he just took things too far.  
He couldn’t just get drunk, he had to get drunk and high. He couldn’t just smoke weed, he had to pop pills. Kenny had a lot he tried to forget, the kid had been through so much and he didn’t really blame him for the makeshift antidepressants. It just wasn’t exactly a turn on.

In no time at all the liquid in the bottle had disappeared. Clyde had passed out on the washing machine and Kenny was convinced the radio was playing even though Craig had taken the batteries out the first time they had tried to turn it on.  
But it wasn’t like he wasn’t having fun. How could he not? He only ever really had fun with his friends anymore when they were all wasted anyway. 

“Bet you wont lick Clyde’s toe for ten bucks.” Kenny suddenly piped up, bursting into a screaming fit of laughter before the sentence had even fully left his lips, nearly on the floor for the fourth time in the past ten minutes.

“When we were in elementary school, Clyde went through a phase where he walked barefoot EVERYWHERE.” The last word had so much volume it echoed off the stone walls at least six more times. Completely unaware of his volume he continued in the same decibel, “YOU LICK HIS TOE AND I’LL GIVE YOU TEN BUCKS.”

“Dude, you’re whispering.” Kenny replied, barely getting the words out through his tears because he had not stopped laughing. “Do you remember in elementary school when you pretended to be gay with that weird anorexic kid? I'll give you twenty bucks if you lick that guys toe.” He had managed to stop laughing long enough to form a coherent thought before it kicked up even louder than before, no doubt his parents could hear them in their bedroom. 

“BET.” Craig said, still screaming at the top of his lungs. This only kicked up Kenny once more, successfully sending him onto the concrete floor when the teen had actually pulled his cell phone from his pocket. It took him about seventy-three tries and ten minutes of lock out to get into his phone successfully, but once he had the real journey began.

The two sat there for nearly thirty minutes in silence while Craig struggled to find his contact list, accidentally locked his phone again, spent another twenty minutes getting back in, but by the time an hour had passed and he had sobered up at least enough to operate his phone he got there.  
Tweek’s number was still there. Right underneath Token’s.

“I don’t think I’m drunk enough to do this anymore.” He whispered, getting unnecessarily close to Kenny, successfully proving that he was still very very drunk when he fell out of his own chair and joined the other boy on the floor.

“Why? It’s just stupid. I'll give you half the money if you just tell him you’re going to do it. Come on! It’ll be funny!” Kenny was nearly begging, reaching for Craig’s phone as though he were about to do it himself just for shits and giggles.

“He’s my ex, I can’t just text him.” The teen whined, rolling over so that he was laying on the floor, looking up at the blonde who was much further gone than he was.

“Your ex? You mean that stupid shit in grade school? It’s not like you actually dated or anything! You don't even like boys anymore!” Kenny was laughing again, and alcohol took every ounce of self control from either of them. Kenny winked, sticking his tongue out of his mouth and licked his lips in what Craig could only assume was meant to be a sexual gesture but looked absolutely horrific. “Or do you?”  
Kenny was known for his inability to give a fuck and his willingness to fuck anything with a pulse.

“Truthful honest honesty?” Craig asked, licking the rim of an empty bottle of vodka as though the droplets left behind could get him any drunker than he already was. Drunk enough to out himself to someone he barely considered a friend.  
“I fucking love boys.” The round of giggles that followed was so loud he could hear the faint sound of Clyde rustling on the other side of the room.

Kenny leaned in, taking the drunken statement as permission to touch the ravenette wherever he felt like.  
At first, it was kind of funny. Craig giggled and leaned in to the blonde’s clumsy hands on his chest. Drunk Craig was dumb and this time he was really drunk, perhaps he had let himself get this way because of Tweek. Maybe he was trying to run away from how he felt. But all it did was push him closer to the edge.

It wasn't until the two boys lips brushed up against one another that the ravenette became alert. The kiss quickly deepened and while it felt fucking amazing to kiss the blonde’s chapped lips it felt incredibly wrong.Here he stood, throwing away tears of work to prove that he was something he was not. And he threw it away for the wrong guy. Even drunk as all hell he realized that. Quickly jerking away, staring into half-lidded lidded ice blue eyes filled with confusion Craig decided to leave.  
Immediately.   
He had completely abandoned Clyde and knew he was going to have to leave his truck again anyway. Sure, Craig was drunk enough to kiss Kenny fucking McCormick but he wasn't stupid enough to drive.

He only made it to the tracks before hr decided to take a break. Craig had made it damn near fifteen feet from Kenny’s house and was already out of breath and threatening to throw up. Once again Craig decided to fight with his phone so that maybe they could get a ride. After a while he managed to get Token dialed, and the brunette had already passed out again.   
What a great fucking night.  
After about eight or so rings it went to voicemail, so he decided to leave one, let him know how drunk his friends were and how bad of a friend he was for leaving him there in the cold.

“Tokeeeen! Where are you at? It isn’t even your bedtime yet I know you’re ignoring me.   
Anywayyyyyyy Kenny and I made out and like touched each other and stuff and it was weird and I feel like I cheated on Tweek.  
Is that cheating? If he doesn't even know I exist?  
Whateverrrrr. I miss you. It’s really cold outside. Why didn’t you come hang out with us-”

“Voicemail limit reached. Goodbye.”

“Bitch.” Craig retorted back to the robotic female voice. He had just decided he was going to spend the night right here when Kevin, Kenny’s brother came out of the main part of the house.

“Hey, get in the car you idiot.” He mumbled, obviously a courtesy he didn’t extend himself. More like his parents had ordered him to drive the drunk idiot home so he would shut up and not freeze to death in front of their house.

Once Craig had gotten home, he didn't even have the strength to make it to his bedroom, resigning to just passing out right there in the foyer for his parents to find first thing in the morning. Even knowing that he couldn’t force himself to keep his eyes open for longer than a few seconds before everything went black and he accepted his fate wholeheartedly.


	3. Chapter 3

What in the fresh hell?

Craig woke up to the putrid smell of cooking bacon, the harsh greasy smell instantly making his stomach churn and sending him flying from his resting place on the cold tile floor to the nearest wastebasket that also just so happened to be in the kitchen.   
There he sat, breathing in the awful smell and retching every time it assaulted his heightened senses. It was an endless cycle of pain, was this truly what hell felt like?

“Good morning, Craig.” His mother’s voice chirped musically from her place beside the stove, giving the bacon another flip so that it’s sickening scent kicked up ever stronger than before. “Did you sleep well?” She teased as his head once again dove into the completely full trash can.

When he finally finished he leaned up against the wall, still sitting in the kitchen floor giving his mother the fiercest death stare he could manage when his whole body was still swaying and he suddenly became aware of the heavy pounding in his head. He flipped her off.

“Oh that's not nice! And I was gonna offer you some bacon.” Her fake hurt turned into a muffled giggle as she went back to work making the whole house stink like the shit so that there was absolutely no escape from the grave she had dug for him. This must be their new punishment for his drinking.  
Very clever.

“I'm going to bed.” He mumbled, almost to quietly to even be heard over the harsh sizzling of breakfast. This sentence however was met with a full guffaw as she tossed one of his clean shirts at him and pointed at his book bag nestled in the corner.

“You’re going to school.” She corrected him, fixing a plate and setting it on the table in front of his sister, offering the horrifically greasy dish to him one last time before wrapping up the leftovers and heading out of the kitchen. “You should be glad we went with my punishment, your father wanted to actually make you eat it.” She laughed wickedly once more and gave him her washcloth with a quick reminder to clean up before he took Tricia to school.

He flipped her off again.

“You shouldn’t drink like that.” Tricia said pointedly, seeming to thoroughly enjoy his punishment breakfast. “But if this is what happens then I guess I’m okay with it.” She continued, taking a big bite out of her bacon as if to tease him further even though his mother had left. She was probably in on it.  
“Oh and by the way your phone has been going off like crazy. It would make me really happy if you would shut up whoever needs to get a hold of you so badly.”

Damn, what did he do last night? The last thing he remembered was someone touching.. him..  
Sick.   
Deciding to ignore the extremely foggy memory he hoped was just some dumb mind trick, he pulled the phone from his pocket and went to work checking the twelve billion damn messages he had.

Clyde (7:14 am) : You make it home okay dude?

Kenny (7:32 am) : What the fuck happened last night? I literally remember nothing after Clyde passed out.

Kenny (7:33 am) : If you make it to school can you grab my notes for Reese’s class? My head is fucking killing me

For whatever reason seeing Kenny's name on his phone made him slightly uneasy..

Tweek (7:41 am) : You called the wrong person last night, I’m sorry to have not picked up I was asleep. I hope you made it home okay.

Fuck. He called Tweek? When? How much did he say? How fucking drunk was he? What did he say?  
All of a sudden he was in a panic, his hangover slowing his steps but not enough to keep him from skipping steps to get up to his room- fucking terrified of what he might have done last night. There was no way he was that drunk was he? How did he even manage to call Tweek? God damnit!  
He slammed his fist on his desk quickly shoving his headphones in as he dialed the number to call his voicemail. There had to be a way to listen to voicemails he had sent out. It would be stupid if there wasn’t!

But there wasn’t. There was literally no way for him to know what he said to Tweek. Short of actually just asking him..   
Yep, absolutely no way to know.

It was probably just harmless. He had probably meant to call Token or Stan and just said some stupid shit about needing a ride. There could have been nothing else, right? He didn’t even mean to call Tweek so he wouldn't have said anything, right?

“Craig! Come on, we're taking the bus cause you left your car.” Tricia called from the bottom of the stairs, obviously sounding impatient. But none of that mattered right now, he was literally panicking.  
Maybe he is just overreacting. It was probably nothing. Craig repeated it like a mantra in his head. It was nothing, nothing..

Once he had managed to calm back down he climbed down the stairs, still wearing the same clothes he had worn yesterday, literally not giving a single shit what anyone else thought. Green eyes and blonde hair still heavy on his mind as he made his way to the bus stop with his sister, completely in a daze at this point.  
People avoided him on the bus, probably because of the smell of alcohol and vomit thick on his breath, only enhanced by the body heat turning the bus into a damn sauna. This is why he hated the bus, this is why the only thing he had ever worked hard for had been to save up for his piece of shit truck.  
After dropping off his sister and the middle schoolers they headed towards the high school making it there in about ten minutes time because everything in this town was damn smushed together.

Craig exited the bus, immediately spraying himself about thirty times with the cologne he kept in his bag for situations exactly like this one. After rousing a sufficient amount of coughing from the other students getting off the bus, he was fully satisfied with himself and continued on the building’s rundown interior.  
It probably hadn’t made a single change since their parents had gone to school there. Another thing he absolutely loathed about this place.

Most of the day was spent in a blur, the ravenette was entirely lost in his head, trying to retrieve memories he knew were hidden somewhere inside his drunk flashes from last night. He thought about texting Tweek, or maybe waiting and asking at lunch or something. Act like there could be nothing incriminating on there, just feign a simple curiosity.   
“Fuck!”  
He had taken his lunch outside today- just in a last ditch effort to get away from all the shit going on in there. He had bought a powerbar from the vending machine and sated any other hunger he may have with a cigarette or two. Literally just staring at his phone, knowing it held the answers he wanted but it just wouldn’t give them up.

When he finally looked up he had to mentally cures himself for not doing so earlier. How in the fuck had he not noticed that this entire time Tweek had been sitting maybe sixty feet away on the other side of the baseball field, sipping slowly on a cup of coffee and staring off into the woods just on the other side of the fence.  
It took nearly all the effort Craig had to stand up and make his way over there, cursing himself for the hundredth time for getting that fucking drunk last night. It wasn’t even necessary, he would have had fun even if he was sober enough to call the correct damn person. 

Before he even got within earshot he had alerted the blonde boy. He didn’t speak but he also didn’t act like he was going to haul ass, so that was a good sign.. Maybe?  
A few more steps and he was standing directly over the other boy, just staring for a moment like he had done the previous day. Having to catch himself the second Tweek started fidgeting nervously in his spot, his eyes widened as if he were going to lose it all right there.

“Whats up?” Good god, did he say ANYTHING else? Damn, if you counted the three times he had spoken with Tweek in the last year all he had ever started with were those two damn words. Did he know how to function in society? Was he going to leave South Park and just be completely incapable of talking to other people? His mind was starting to sound like he imagined it did in the younger boy’s all the time.

“L-lunch?” Tweek said, pulling his knees into himself a little further, seemingly unsure of whether or not he could completely trust the ravenette. But he had always been like that, timid, afraid. Even back when they were spending copious amounts of time together he was that way. He assumed anxiety, but just like anything with Tweek he wasn’t completely sure.

“Look, I’m really sorry I drunk-dialed you last night,” Craig began, sitting on the grass just a few feet away from the timid blonde. He noticed the look on his face the closer he got and remembered his cigarette. Now he felt like even more of a dick. He pinched the ember off the end and threw the remainder across the lot. “Sorry. Look, I just wanted to make sure we were cool- like I didn’t say anything to offend you or..?” He trailed off looking for any sort of help the other teen may give. But he gave nothing, just a soft yelp and his eye trained on the forgotten ember still burning in the grass by Craig’s feet.  
“Okay, well, I’m sorry.” The elder teen apologized once more when he was met with silence, slowly using the brick wall to return to his feet when he was caught off guard by another soft-spoken sentence from the other.

“I-I-I I didn’t k-know you were g-gay..” He stammered, playing with his thumbs as if he hadn’t dropped the biggest damn bombshell in Craig’s tiny little world.

“Excuse me, what?”  
The words came out a little harsher than he had meant for them to, the venom in his words far too thick to be directed at the fragile teen.  
Tweek immediately retreated further into himself, realizing that he had struck a nerve when he began chewing on the scarred skin around his wrist. It looked as though he did that a lot..  
It made Craig’s heart twist in his chest.  
“Hey.. I'm sorry..” The ravenette calmed his tone, speaking now in hushed whispers as gentle hands reached to pull the blondes wrist out of reach. The one thing that made him switch personas and drop the jerk act was Tweek, it always had been.  
Even when the boy was just passing in the hall he couldn't help but let a rare smile slip through his demeanor. The smaller boy notably calmed, a quiet sigh escaping his lips, green eyes welled with tears.  
God. He was so damn beautiful it his heart.

“S-so, K-Kenny, huh?” Tweek finally spoke up, his voice breaking. Even though Craig’s actions had calmed him he still seemed incredibly tense in the presence of the elder he hadn't so much as spent time with in years.

“Kenny? Not even my type. Why would you say that?” Craig laughed, completely oblivious still to what had transpired the previous night.  
Sure, he suspected something odd happened.. But not that. Kenny was too dysfunctional, and honestly too big of a whore for Craig to do anything more than appreciate his rugged good looks and sly charm. But the guy was toxic and barely his friend much less a lover. Even for one night.

“T-The voicemail.. Y-you guys..” Tweek looked as if he thought he had overstepped again, curling up in on himself the second that look of horror reached the ravenette’s eyes..

“Fuck that guy..” The bell rang, slicing through the tense conversation and breaking Tweek from his cocoon. In mere moments the other boy had leapt to his feet, tray in hand as he dashed towards the schools side door.  
For Christ's sake he was putting too much pressure on the kid. Putting him in the middle of a drunken mistake, trusting him with a huge secret like that, even the simple act of loving him was selfish.  
Craig thought he should take a step back, give the kid some room and try again after he had a couple years to calm down. But the selfish part of him wanted nothing more than to kiss him, pin him against the wall and show everyone what he really wanted.

A dark laugh audibly escaped his lips. In a perfect world he wasn't a jackass, in a perfect world Tweek wasn't so timid, in a perfect world everyone was accepting of one another and let each other live their lives they way they so pleased.  
But not here, not like this..

Maybe one day, he could make the world a twisted kind of perfect..


	4. Chapter 4

The second bell rang, signaling he was late to his fifth period. But at this point he no longer cared. He pulled his phone from his back pocket, unraveling the worn out pair of SkullCandy headphones wrapped around the device.  
Pressing resume on the last song he was listening to met him with a completely different feeling. It was the sort of song that didn’t really fit his usual style of listening but it was just so damn good. Young God blasted through his phone, causing him to relax where he was.

It hurt. It always hurt. Putting up a mask with the people he had called friend for so many years. He sometimes wondered if this was how it always was going to be.  
In a perfect world everyone he knew was just as accepting as they were back in grade school, he had never had to leave Tweek the way he did. Maybe he never left him at all.

Craig found himself daydreaming. Imagining what it might be like to have the courage to be himself rather than someone else. He imagined that spazzy blonde haired teen holding on to him for comfort rather than hurting himself. He pictured himself making it to a damn school dance for once in his life because he was in love for once.  
He’d never been in love.  
He wondered briefly what it must feel like..

Looking down at his phone he came to the realization he had skipped his entire fifth period and resigned himself to making his way to his sixth. Levin was his least damn favorite teacher but with all the thoughts swirling around in his mind he felt as if he had to see Tweek again..  
Maybe he could get the kid out of his head.  
But after this long it probably wasn't going to ever happen.

As he slid into his seat next to Token, he wondered what would change if he had so much as the courage as to go sit next to the boy he wanted to see.  
Slamming his head against the desk with an echoing sound he brought himself back to reality. It was not going to happen. Even if he wanted it there was no guarantee it would mean anything to the blonde. He could just see himself now throwing everything away to make a move on the younger boy only to be rejected and to have done it all for nothing..

“What is your problem lately, Craig?” His friend piped up from his side, shoving him a bit to make sure his attention directed itself in the correct direction, “You have been acting like a wounded animal since yesterday.” He stated, raising an eyebrow as he attempted to read the face that Craig had already turned into a stone door.

“Existential crisis.” Craig replied, not exactly lying to the other boy as he let his head fall back on to his desk. It was so soon. Graduation was just four more months away and he could barely fucking stand it.

Even though the only reason he even came to this period was to see Tweek, he found himself dozing off in the back off the room. Only fully waking up once the dismissal bell went off in what seemed like a matter of seconds.  
Just like that his opportunity to talk to the boy had been obliterated, but even so he took off after him leaving Token standing with his mouth gaping at the ravenette’s sudden shift in behavior.

But by the time he hit the halls Tweek was already gone. The twitchy kid was faster than a damn bullet the way he kept slipping out of his grip.

“You guys broke up, get over it already.” Clyde met him in the hall, clapping a hand on his shoulder and laughing insanely at his own joke. Because he was just so damn hilarious. They all were.

“Fuck off.” Craig replied, hitting the exit doors and deciding to blow off his last class as well. He just couldn't fucking deal with it today. Looking for his truck in the parking lot he almost started ripping his hair out when he remembered it was still at fucking Kenny’s house.  
Fuck it.  
Fuck everything.  
The teen turned around and kicked the stone steps of the school as hard as he could, only succeeding in what felt like breaking his damn toe.

After he calmed down he started the walk home, headphones jammed in his ears and cigarette in his hands.   
At least tomorrow was the weekend, but that meant he had to go to work tonight which he wasn’t exactly looking forward to either. There was no way he was making shit for tips tonight when he couldn't even force a half fake smile. R.I.P. 2 My Youth came on, only dragging his mood through the dirt that it was already lying in.

Once he got home, he headed to his room. It would only be him until his father got off of work or his mother returned from wherever the hell she was. Whichever came first.  
He had spent far too much time thinking about that stupid blonde kid. He fucking hated him for making him feel like this. Craig felt like such a damn idiot for the way he was falling head over heels all the fuck over again for someone he should have gotten over when he was ten years old.

Lazily he changed into his work uniform, a plain blue t-shirt with a single pocket, a pair of black jeans, a pair of non slip shoes and a plain black waist apron. He damn near stabbed himself three times with his nametag trying to get it on because his head wasn't exactly straight.  
Maybe he could get Wendy to cover for him. She was probably tired of covering his shifts already so that wasn't really an option either.

“FUCK!”  
He was yelling so damn much, but he didn't even know what to do with himself. He didn't know how to fix it so he just kept punching the wall trying to make it go away. He couldn't stop thinking about it, he couldn't talk to Tweek, he just had to fucking stew there until he either manned up or died.

Craig decided to wait until he died. That way he wouldn't embarrass himself.

He made his way to the pizza place he worked at on the weekends, which was already completely full of dumb teenagers in the parking lot.   
Another sigh.  
All he did was fucking sigh and cuss.  
Maybe that's why Tweek didn't want to talk to him.

Hanging up his bag in the kitchen, he grabbed his table assignments from the hostess and waited for his first table of the night.  
After about three hours, fifty rude assholes and only about 45$ in tips he was starting to feel worn the fuck out. Thankfully it was also starting to slow down leaving him with only two or three tables at a time.

“You mind if I sit you at 17?” The hostess asked politely, her pink lipped smile shining underneath the harsh pizzeria lights. She was conventionally pretty, blonde hair blue eye. You know the type. But she managed to be a decent person and not so over conceited. She was probably his only friend here.

“No problem, 11 and 14 are getting up to leave right now and I don't want to be stuck twiddling my thumbs until 10 o'clock.” He replied. At this point he had almost forgotten all of his problems of the day. On busy nights he went into overdrive and everything else took a backseat to his job. It was a damn good thing too because acting like an asshole to customers does not fucking fly.

“Two adults and a teen.” She informed him, returning to the host stand while he waited patiently at the register, eyeballing his other two tables to see if they were getting ready to check out soon.

He went ahead and took the money from them both, receiving another 10$ from each table and bringing him to a respectable 65$ for the night. He assured himself he would make it up Saturday night. Saturday's were always crazy packed with kids.

The hostess was bringing the drinks back to his new table, signaling him to come check and see if they had their order ready. But he stopped suddenly.   
Of course.  
There was no way he could have prepared himself for what sat there. The very damn thing that was driving him crazy. And now he had him cornered.  
So what would he do with it?

After contemplating for a moment, the raven haired boy decided to bail out. He whipped around, silently power-walking to the kitchen to try and escape the situation as soon as possible. But before he could speak his protest and ask for someone to cover him, his boss came around the corner, eyes instantly falling on the only server that wasn’t actively doing something.  
Deciding that the manager was much scarier than the awkward dilemma that awaited him, he retreated from the kitchen.  
By the time he made it across the floor, he was shaking. He pulled the dark blue glitter pen, that he had stolen because he had forgotten his own, and pulled his notebook up to his face as he approached the table.

“Hello, welcome to Joey’s Pizza my name is Craig and I am going to be your server tonight.” Maybe, he had hoped, Tweek just wouldn’t pay a lick of attention to him and he would only have to interact with his love interest’s parents- which wasn’t nearly as awkward. Because they didn’t know him.

“C-c-craig?” The blonde belted out, immediately shattering whatever hopes he had of getting through this with little to no human interaction. Craig refused to look over at Tweek, knowing that if he did he would probably start fucking staring like the dumbass he was.   
So instead he just nodded in response, pulling even further into himself as he put his ‘customer mask’ back on. A fake ass smile that was almost impossible to read in to, thank god.

“Oh, you know each other? How delightful.” Tweek’s father spoke, setting his menu down on the table and making hard eye contact with the ravenette. His own fake smile was easier to see through. Wonder what his problem was..

“Are you guys ready to order or do you need a minute?” He prompted, looking for a hard out before things got any more tense than they already were.   
Why were they here of all places? Why in his table section when there were still four other servers on the clock? What were the fucking odds?

Once he had grabbed their order, probably the easiest one of the night thankfully, he gathered up their menus and hauled ass. It felt as though he had been standing over their for an eternity, judgemental eyes bearing down on him after Tweek had so kindly informed everyone at the fucking table they knew each other.   
Quickly, he entered the order into the computer, slumping hard against the wall once he had, knowing that it wouldn’t be ready for fifteen or twenty more minutes. All he had to do was hope they didn’t need drink refills and he wouldn’t have to go over there again until the food was ready. Maybe even then he could convince someone else to take it out.  
He sighed, ultimately making his way to the booth the servers had claimed for their own in the bar on the other side of the restaurant. 

See the thing is, every server there is a female. Except for him and a guy named Patrick who worked weekdays. Deciding to let their babbling chick conversation become background noise for his sorrow, Craig slumped into the booth on the outside, resting his head on the table and accidentally smacking his forehead against the cheap wood in the process.

“Wow, hun, you look like you’ve been hit by a truck.” The girl who piped up first was Remmi, the head server. Her dragon-like talons came to close around his forearm, her vice-grip meaning she was showing actual concern.

“Yea, Craigy what's wrong?” Another girl piped up, putting her own hand on his forehead where he had smacked his head even though it looked like she was checking for a fever.

After contemplating for a moment, Craig wondered if he could safely talk to these girls. None of them went to his school, but girls who did go to his school worked here and girls just never shut up when there was any sort of drama. But he had to get out what he was thinking. So he switched up the story a little, watching all three of the girls around him perk their heads up.  
“My ex was at one of my tables tonight,” The ravenette confessed, gently pulling Remmi’s death grip off of him as he started into his tale. “But I still have feelings for them.” He avidly avoided pronouns, he had since he was very young. It wasn’t a lie- he just didn’t mention gender and it was their fault for not knowing.

Before the girls could even react, the cook came out of the kitchen motioning to him that his food was ready. Reluctantly Craig got to his feet, taking to the now-empty transition area. It had really slowed down which probably meant this was his last table of the night. Just as he slung the large tray over his shoulder, one of the girls- a younger one appeared in front of him. She offered her arms out in the way that meant she would take the tray. Craig raised an eyebrow at her and she just replied with a soft smile and a hushed whisper.

“Don’t worry, I’ll take it out to him.” The petite redhead winked, turning away and slinging a tray jack over her other shoulder as she disappeared onto the lobby floor leaving Craig standing there slightly confused and dazed at the sudden act of kindness.

Wait..  
No.  
She didn’t know did she? How would she have figured it out? There was no way he revealed his biggest damn secret in the two sentences he had spoken earlier. No, she didn’t know she was just being helpful.  
Then why did she tell him not to worry? Was he that fucking obvious? Did he have to be so careful with his words that he couldn’t even tell fake stories about his problems?  
There he stood, hands gripping his hair as he watched her every movement from the hole in the kitchen door. She was laughing, she was looking at Tweek. They were talking. Oh god.

When she turned to come back he almost threw himself out of the way. In a matter of just two days, years of lying were unraveling right before him. He tried to convince himself once more that he was being irrational. That the girl was just being nice, or maybe she was bored because she didn’t have any tables of her own. Maybe that was it. Maybe she was just trying to steal his tip- which he didn’t deserve at this point anyway.

The redheaded girl opened the door and leaned up against the wall next to him. She silently passed him her phone. After looking confused for a second she prompted him to tap the screen to wake it up. When he did so he was instantly greeted by a picture of two women. One was the girl, and the other was a blonde with a long braid going down her back. They were wrapped in each other’s arms, and one was placing a kiss on the other’s cheek.   
“That's my girlfriend,” She informed, locking the device and returning it to the front pocket of her apron. “I know how this town is, but you can’t let it control who you are. Stand up to it, make it your bitch. I nearly lost myself to it, she saved me. You can’t just spend all your time wondering what if. Go get him.”

As she walked away, he quickly read her name tag. Charlie. 

In all this time, he had never met anyone like her. He had never met anyone who knew exactly how he was feeling, someone who could give him real advice because she understood his real problems. Craig didn’t even care anymore that she knew, he wasn’t sure if he cared if anyone knew anymore..  
Of course his anxiety about being found out didn't disappear just like that. But the conversation with her had chased away that feeling in his gut. The one that made him want to punch walls and pull his hair out.  
He smiled, pushing himself upright and grabbing a stack of napkins from the cupboard. He took the one off the top and contemplated for a moment. If he was going to say something it had to be big. But not too big..

He finally decided on what he wanted it to say, writing it down in his nicest handwriting and flipping the napkin to the bottom of the pile. He approached the table with a much more genuine smile this time.  
“Napkins and refills.” The ravenette informed cheerfully, passing the top two stacks on napkins to either of Tweek’s parents before sliding him the last three of four. Craig quickly filled their waters and gave a chaste smile as he retreated once more, his heart threatening to beat out of his chest.

“Your cut slip.” The hostess spoke once he had made it to the host stand, nearly causing him to jump out of his damn skin. He nodded gratefully and took the tiny piece of paper to the safe place in his apron. “You okay?” She mused, her hand pushing the bangs out the boy’s eyes so that she could get a better look at the emotion lurking in those deep blues.

“Im great.” Craig responded, turning back to look at Tweek who was just pulling the final napkin to set in his lap. He saw the blonde’s eyes twitch, pulling the note under the table he focused harder on it until he made out the words ‘I think you’re cute’.  
Green eyes instantly flashed up and met blue. They were staring at each other this time. It made the damn butterflies kick up in Craig’s stomach. Especially when the very rare occurrence happened. Tweek smiled. He flashed a full closed-lip smile at the ravenette and it was so powerful he could feel his heart melting.

Charlie was right. Fuck this town and its values. Maybe there was a chance for them after all.


	5. Chapter 5

That sight had become completely etched into his brain. That sweet, subtle smile that was meant just for him.   
The cool evening breeze embraced his skin, just the perfect amount of crisp carrying away the foul smelling smoke that flowed from the ravenette’s pale lips. He was perched on his usual spot above the garage, staring up at the vast map of stars that shone hauntingly over his head. He imagined if he were to stare long enough he could see galaxies, watch the stars dance in the void far above their world- though it weren’t real it was still fascinating. All the time it took for those lights to make into his sky that night. All the things that could have made each of those stars go out, these were the ones that made it.   
Craig wished many times he were one of them, a star. There wasn’t much earthly hold that compelled him to keep to the monotonous journey that was life. But to exist only to bring light and beauty, that was something. That felt real.  
A long drag from his cigarette clouded his vision for a moment, he looked down at his cell phone for what felt like the thousandth time that night as he tried to build up the courage to so much as send a text. The boy chuckled, disturbing momentarily the sweet silence he was basking in. He felt so damn foolish, so damn unable to chase after the things he wanted. But he was human, unfortunately, and everybody feared rejection, feared failure.

Not long after he had given Tweek that note his parents had been dragging him out. And by the time Craig made it home all that fearlessness he had felt from his pep talk at work fizzled out and he hadn’t even managed to unlock his phone.  
Pathetic.  
The teen adjusted so that he was lying on his back, closing his eyes for a moment and letting his mind wander. Or at least trying to. It was fixated on earlier that night, no matter how hard he tried all he saw was that smile, all he felt was that weight on his chest practically begging him to just take a damn chance. All he needed was fifteen seconds, enough time to send a stupid text and after that he could spend the rest of the night panicking if he needed to.  
It was this not knowing, this anticipation that was fucking killing him. It wasn’t as if he expected a date or anything lame like that. He just wanted to talk, just to spend time with the object of his affections may very well just be enough.

He sighed, throwing himself back into an upright position and grabbing his cell from beside him. His chest tightened.   
As if racing against the clock, he unlocked his phone, found the other boy’s contact number, composed a message- and then froze. Now that he was here he realized he hadn’t even worked out what to say. He smashed his spent cigarette against the concrete rooftop, bearing down on his keyboard as if this were the most important thing he had ever done. The algorithms worked in his mind, possible outcomes and scenarios processed for every word he typed.   
Finally, he found the perfect words to say. Words that conveyed everything he was feeling, everything he wanted, all the things weighing heavy on his heart. 

The message read: ‘Wanna hang out sometime?’  
With a final breath, he shut his eyes as tight as he could and pressed the send button.  
Once that ‘whoosh’ sound indicating that the message had gone through resounded, he felt it safe to open his eyes once more. And unable to stop himself, he stared at it. He stared at the message, and it stared back at him- not literally of course but.. Damn.  
No matter how hard he tried he just couldn’t set the phone down and wait. He couldn’t try to waste the time by lighting another cigarette, he couldn’t leave the app to put on some music, he couldn’t look away to watch the sky.  
Immobilized, he watched his phone in anticipation.   
Weeks passed, days, years.. Or in real time, just about six and a half minutes. And his phone made the caste ‘ding’ that signaled he had received a message. 

Tweek (11:02 pm) : ‘Sure, what are you doing tomorrow?’

The world stopped spinning, time stood still, Phantom of the Opera swelled in his heart. Even if he’d had anything planned for tomorrow it instantly was shoved to backburner because this was it.   
Well, no actually, this wasn’t it. It was just hanging out. Like friends do, because they were friends. God, life is really hard sometimes.

They made plans to spend the afternoon together at Craig’s, playing video games or whatever else they felt like doing. But the conversation didn’t stop there- they texted back and forth until about 2 in the morning. They caught up with each other, they talked about stupid shit, they discussed the superiority of limes over lemons. It was just talking.   
It was incredible. And the only reason it ended was because Tweek insisted he needed to at least try and get some rest- Craig learned he had insomnia- so that he could be up in time to open the coffee shop.  
Right after Tweek got off and before Craig went in to work, they would spend together. It was unbelievable, and yet completely mundane. It was both perfectly normal and absolutely perfect. Just having Tweek back in his life made everything feel so different.

“God, I’m such an idiot.” The ravenette mumbled under his breath as he slid back in his window and landed on his bed.   
He spent the next hour or so rereading the text conversation, trying to calm down long enough to get some sleep to be ready for the next day. Finding it difficult, he put his phone to the side and finally fell asleep much later to daydreams and steadily intensifying butterflies fluttering all about his torso.

-

When he finally woke up again, it was to the sound of his sister pounding on his bedroom door shouting about something..  
Fuck.  
He rolled over, nearly falling off his bed as he did every fucking morning because he always ended up on the very edge of a bed that was literally made for two people. He pulled his phone off the bedside table, checking the time and this time literally falling out of his bed.   
It was almost 4?! How the fuck had he slept for so long?

“If you don’t get up in five seconds, I’m telling him to leave!” Tricia shouted from the other side of the door, causing him to frantically pick himself up off the floor and throw it open.  
He was a mess, still wearing his work uniform from last night, sans apron and nametag. His hair was sticking out in every direction and he smelled like morning breath and stale pizza.  
“Five seconds.” She told him again, holding her hand up as she began the countdown.

All he had time to do was throw on his million year old chullo and a sweatshirt before he was practically chasing her down the stairs. The front door was open, revealing a very awkward Tweek tracing the cracks in the sidewalk looking as if he was trying to do anything but panic.   
Had he really fucking made him wait?   
“I'm such an asshole.” He muttered, earning a hard clap on the shoulder from his much shorter sibling as he set out to rescue the frightened blonde on his doorstep.

“Hey.” Craig spoke first, trying to mask the fact that he had literally woken up about ten seconds before.   
When Tweek looked up at him he almost fell over, only barely catching himself on the wall trying to act as though he were just leaning against it. There had been no time to mentally prepare himself for this but even so he pressed on with that same monotone and blank look he gave everyone else. “Coming?” He said, disguising the cocktail of fear, excitement, and happiness swirling around behind it all.

“Y-yea I-I mean if y-you still w-want me t-to?” The younger boy stammered the words, his hands subconsciously wringing together. It was obvious he frightened, intimidated by the prospect of being there. Craig couldn’t read his mind, though he wished he could, but he could see the anxiety steadily rising on his face. Eyes darting back in forth, looking anywhere but at the boy in front of him, fingernails digging into his own skin, the rhythmic twitch of his shoulder.  
As much as he never showed it, Craig was an avid worrier. He gently took the blonde’s hands and pulled them apart before he could claw another hole in his skin to match the rest of the scabs that covered them.   
Tweek flinched at this action, but getting the memo he moved his hands to his pockets, a small yelp escaping his lips involuntarily as he did so.

“Come on.” Craig spoke again, motioning for his counterpart to follow him up the stairs. He didn’t have to be to work until 6:30, but he was also considering calling in sick again so that he could have more than just a couple of hours.  
But that all depended on how things went, how tense the air was, how wanted his company actually was.. God, he worried.

Once they made it up to his room, he moved towards the television to start up the game console he had probably had since grade school. It was older than hell but it still ran and he saw no reason to replace something that wasn’t broken. While he gave the game the time it needed to start up, he motioned for Tweek to sit on the bed while he took his place in the rolly chair underneath the desk across the room. As much as he wanted to sit on the bed with him, he wasn’t in the business of making the kid uncomfortable from minute one.

“I-is that t-the same gamesphere?” Tweek spoke, his eyes lighting up with an emotion that could only come across as pure nostalgia. The blonde boy leaned over, touching the ancient console, that same smile lighting up his face as the one he had given Craig at the pizzeria.

“The very same.” Craig responded, knowing he was referring to the same one they had played together when they used to hang out back in the day. And it was, it was also the same game they always played. Some 8-bit puzzle solving rpg game he forgot the name of when it had become worn off the case many years ago. This is the one thing he had the time to truly plan for their time together.

“N-no way!” It was pure wonderment in the younger boy’s eyes, almost everything about his room was reminiscent of the time they had spent together. That wasn’t planned, Craig just didn’t change all that much over the years. Besides a few new posters and less lame set of bedsheets absolutely nothing had changed. That fact seemed to visibly remove the tension from the blonde’s shoulders as the game finally loaded.

And just like that they fell back in to step with each other. It was the first time he had been able to see Tweek relax and let go in such a long time. They talked, they played games, probably every single game he had in his cupboard. When 6 rolled around he called his boss to let him know he was sick and couldn’t make it in, despite the blonde’s heavy protests that he had no problem with leaving and didn’t want to be a burden.   
But Craig did have a problem with him leaving, this was the first time in so long he had an actual good time. It didn’t take alcohol or any other substances, it was just a good time. He hadn’t even gone out to have a smoke the whole day either.  
It hadn’t even crossed his mind.  
It was perfect.

It lasted for hours, but it honestly could have continued to the end of time and the ravenette wouldn’t have protested. He honestly had the most amazing time just laying in his room eating leftover pizza and fucking around.

But eventually they ran out of games, as was bound to happen with his small collection, but Craig was a quick improvisor and he knew exactly what they could do. From underneath his bed, he whipped out the original Star Wars trilogy, probably the only thing in his entire room that wasn't completely worn out because this is something he cherished.  
And to show these to Tweek was the utmost highest level of trust. And Craig made sure he knew that.

“I-I h-have to make i-it home b-b-before dark.” Tweek spoke, a soft sadness in his voice at the prospect of leaving. That alone sent a shiver down the ravenette’s spine. It was just the way it used to be, like a single day hadn't gone by. But it had.  
Years had. Lifetimes. They were both different people now and soon enough they would have to own up to that. But for now all he knew is that he didn’t want the blonde haired boy to leave. Not yet..

“Just tell your parents you’re staying here.” Craig whined, climbing up onto the bed with Tweek putting on his most perfect begging face complete with puppy dog eyes. He could see the younger boy tense at the proposal, though he wasn’t sure why.  
Was it because of him? Or Tweek’s parents? Maybe it was just his usual level of awkwardness. Craig silently promised to one day be able to read the many faces of petite teen. But for now, he could only guess. “I’ll even sleep on the floor, I just really want to spend more time with you.” It was probably the most truthful he had been all night.. He just hoped it was enough.

“O-okay! J-just s-s-stop begging!” Tweek laughed, lightly pushing Craig’s face away in the softest playful manner a human being could possibly muster. Their skin touching even in that weird way made the ravenette’s heart pump just a little bit faster to keep up. Good god keeping his hands to himself was gonna be some damn hard work.

After they had all of their plans squared away with both teen’s parents, Craig popped in the first movie and crawled up onto the bed to make himself comfortable. Tweek sat down on the very edge of the bed, sending a shot pain through the other’s chest. But he wouldn’t press his luck. Just having him here was enough..  
The movie began and soon enough the younger boy was fidgeting uncomfortably in place, though he looked afraid to readjust. All Craig wanted was for the blonde to be completely comfortable, however that was.

“There's enough room in this bed for you to lie down, I didn’t think I was taking up that much room.” He half-joked, checking himself to see if he actually was taking up more room than he thought.   
Tweek nodded and by the time the second movie was put in, he was laying across the opposite end of the bed, his feet next to Craig’s head and his own head towards the foot of the bed and closer to the television.  
Damn.

Movie three and nearly five hours later, Tweek had finally switched it up so that his head was on a pillow though their bodies were still about two foot apart, placing them both on the very edge of the bed. After that everything kind of blurred out.  
He remembered watching Tweek close his eyes and turn over onto his side- and he remembered wondering if he should turn the movie off. But not long after that he was out himself. And there was nothing between that point and the next time he woke up.

It was about 4am and the thing that had roused the ravenette was the obnoxiously loud sound of the movie credits over his makeshift surround sound that was honestly just a couple speakers on either side of his bed. He was going to move to switch it off when he noticed the pressure on his body.  
Looking down he saw Tweek, for the first time his face was completely relaxed. There was no stress, no twitching. He was sleeping peacefully, curled up like a small kitten against his chest. No way in hell he was moving now, or falling back to sleep for that matter.  
It just felt so damn perfect, so fucking right. The whole day had been, and being like this nearly drove him to madness.   
The ravenette leaned down with just his head, placing a feather-light kiss on the sleeping boy’s forehead. It made him want so much more, but he wasn’t about to be a damn creep so he pulled back. It was only then that he realized Tweek had never really been asleep. Those emerald green eyes stared right through his soul.

“Look- I was just-”  
His words were cut off all of the sudden by an unknown force. One that was quickly identified. In a sudden twist, he found the younger boy gripping the collar of his sweatshirt pulling him down into what must have been the softest kiss in the entire galaxy. Their lips melded together perfectly, the space in between them became nonexistent. For a moment he had to wonder if he actually had fallen back asleep.   
If he were to wake up and learn that this weren’t reality, that may very well have been it. But it wasn’t a dream, and didn’t end either. They stayed like that, wrapped in each other’s arms for lifetimes.. And when they did finally pull apart, it was only because they had stolen each other’s oxygen.

“I-I missed y-you.. J-jerk.” Tweek muttered in the softest whisper, but he was close enough to hear every word. And just like that, the world stopped. There were no responsibilities or bullies or whatever stupid shit had kept them apart in the first place. Because Tweek had missed him.. This whole time.. He was a jerk.  
And practically everyone had seen it but him.


	6. Chapter 6

There was an absolutely perfect sensation coursing through the ravenette’s veins the following morning. It sent shivers up his spine, it made his heart race in his chest and filled every sense with pure bliss..  
He smelled wonderful, he looked gorgeously at peace, even the sound of his soft breaths were like an upbeat melody gracing Craig’s ears. It felt so absolutely natural.   
The sight of the sunlight filtering through his window and causing the golden strands atop the sleeping teen’s head. It created an abstract halo, it graced his softened features and transformed him into something beautiful and otherworldly..  
All the negative thoughts that had clouded Craig’s mind during his past seven years in the dark seemed to wash away revealing an entirely new person underneath. Not stoic, or harsh, but soft and kind like he had never been before. Not even when he had previously been with Tweek, there had always been walls up, barriers.  
But now there were none.

The peaceful silence only lasted about another half hour or so when the most delicate squeak escaped the lips of his formerly sleeping partner. But he didn’t look scared, he looked excited. There were bright emotions shining through the typically dull demeanor the other normally held. Happy thoughts swirling behind those perfect emerald green eyes rather than coarse anxieties and self deprecating thoughts.   
Craig reminded himself to thank Clyde and Kenny. Through the twisted events of that night he had ended up reconnecting with the former love of his life.. Perhaps this time around they could be there for each other, protect the other from the people who wanted to tear them down.   
“Good morning, beautiful.” There was no thought to Craig’s words, no worry that he would be overstepping. In hindsight, maybe he should be a little more careful considering this was all technically brand new. But Tweek didn’t seem to mind, tentatively running small hands across the other’s pale cheeks as though trying to prove to himself he was no longer dreaming.  
It was precious.

They continued to lie there, looking each other in the eyes for what felt like an eternity. Craig felt seasons past, years, he felt every fantasy come to life in that gaze.. Eyes so full of love and wonder like nothing he had ever seen from Tweek. It meant the world to him. It meant so much that he could invoke something like that in someone like him and.. It made him feel wanted.  
For the first time in his life he felt truly wanted.  
With a slight hesitation the ravenette brought his face closer to his partner’s, smelling the morning breath aftermath of their terrible dinner and only falling even further in love with it. This time it was Craig who closed the gap, placing the softest kiss on the other’s lips as though he were made of glass. It was so different from the kiss they had shared the previous night, but it held just as much passion and emotion behind it.

Pulling apart, Craig broke the moment. As much as he wanted the morning to last forever, he knew Tweek would have to be heading home shortly, the rapid buzzing from the one thousand texts his parents had sent last night still ringing in his ears. If they wanted this to last, he had to be a top notch boyfriend.  
No more going against Tweek’s parents wishes, no sneaking around, always home by curfew. Craig was going to be the model boyfriend. That's what he had decided.  
But the disappointed look as the ravenette broke their embrace was almost enough to make him immediately go darkside. He pushed the thought aside.  
“I’m going to be a good boyfriend and get you home before your parents decide I’m a bad influence.” Craig said with a shaky determination, almost pulled from his resolve by one puppy dog look from the blonde. He was hypnotizing. That was going to be a problem.

“B-boyfriend..?” Tweek responded, slowly pulling himself into a criss cross position on the bed, stifling a smile so wide that it still broke through. Absolutely there was not another person on this more precious and innocent.

“If you’ll have me, that is?” Perhaps it was a little fast to make this exclusive. They shared two kisses and had one thing that only kind of counted as a date. But to Craig it felt like years pent up, silent love he had been afraid to let show on the surface. To him it felt long overdue, as though they had so much time to catch up on they shouldn’t be so worried with formalities. Maybe he was jumping the gun, maybe..-

“Of course! A-are you certain though? You don't know how I’ve been.. I-I-Im..” The blonde trailed off, but in mere moments the other had him wrapped up in his arms.   
Of course Craig knew. The scars were vivid, the stutter was still prominent in his voice, he still looked as though he couldn’t truly trust in anyone. But he was trying.. That much was apparent. And to have that honor in Tweek’s eyes..

“You’re perfect.” Their kiss this time was much swifter, Craig once again taking to his feet so that he could be perfect for Tweek. He held out his hand to the blonde, smiling so wide that his jaw was starting to ache but he couldn’t make himself stop. They were both fully clothed so it only took about five minutes to get their shoes on and get ready.   
Honestly, it could have taken centuries and it wouldn’t have been long enough. “I’ll walk you home.” Craig’s voice held pain, but it also held hope for the future. Everything had changed in a single night, he was a completely different person and it felt amazing.

They descended the stairs together, both unsure of whether or not they should hold hands, but both visibly missing the other’s touch. They had come to crave each other’s warmth in such a short time, it was like the most addictive drug but it was theirs alone.  
Unfortunately both of his parents had departed for church, and his sister was either in her room or over at a friend’s house. Though he had been in the closet just last night he felt the confidence to conquer the world and he wanted to rub his happiness in as many faces as possible. It would simply have to wait.

They arrived at the Tweak residence around 11:15, perhaps a little later than he should be getting home. But it was the getting him home at all that was the hard part. They shared a few quiet words about Craig coming to pick him up Monday morning for school. He was gonna have to whip that shitty truck into shape and start actually fucking taking it home if he was going to get this excuse to see that beautiful face for as long as possible every day..  
It was so surreal.   
And just like that he was gone. The prospect of simply waiting until the morning to see him again was an impossible one. It would be the longest he ever waited for anything. Not literally of course.

As he made the walk back home, he finally decided to check his phone, only two messages since that last night when he’d checked it.

Token (9:17am) : ‘All the guys r meeting @ my place 2nite let me know if u will b there’

Tweek (11:19am) : ‘Parents arent mad. All cool. PS I miss u <3’

That last one made his heart swell, completely amazed at how easily they had fallen back into step with one another. But loving every last second of it.  
He decided to reply to Token first, absolutely ecstatic to be able to tell everyone in one go. He wanted to share his happiness. He wanted to revel in it. Enjoy it for as long as it would last. Hopefully.. Forever.

That night, it still hadn’t worn off. Craig hadn’t been able to quit smiling as much as he wanted give it a rest for a while, the task was just impossible. Unfortunately Tweek’s parents, though not angry, were keeping him in for the night since he had been out for most of Saturday and Sunday. It was perfectly fine but still, he was so damn selfish. He wanted every second the blonde had to belong to them.  
Maybe because it was so brand new, but it still hadn’t hadn’t even begun to lose its magic. It still felt as shocking and wonderful as the first time they had kissed. 

Before he had even gotten to Token’s he knew they were going to drink. That's all they did. They hung out and got fucked up. But Craig hadn't even so much as smoked a cigarette in two days. Partially because he had slept through most of Saturday. But mostly because he knew Tweek hated the smell and if the chance arose, he wasn't going to ruin it for anything.

“Craig did someone punch you in the mouth because you're making a weird face.” Kenny was the first one to speak up, his arm wrapped around the other blonde of their group known as Butters Stotch. Despite Kenny's endless stream of men and women Butters was probably the only constant in his life. It was kind of sweet.  
It was also weird that he thought that.

“I'm just happy, can I not be happy?” Craig spoke words that would have normally held some of the thickest sarcasm known to man. But he couldn't even bring himself to fake it. Not today. Not when it was this brand new.

“No. You're never happy unless you're tormenting sixth graders.” Stan stated, earning himself a muddled agreement from the room, raising an eyebrow as if to say ‘see? I told you so’.

“Actually, it's because I'm once again a taken man. Suck it.” Craig made a crude gesture but weirdly enough his smile didn't waiver making it honestly a little weird.

“No thanks your girlfriend can handle that.” Kyle muttered, putting emphasis on the world girlfriend as though it was so tragically impossible that Craig of all people had actually found a girl willing to date his dumb depressing ass.

“No but really, how is Tweek?” Token asked, the most smug ‘I knew it all along’ look ever plastered loud and plain as day on his face. He looked pleased with himself, arms crossed over his chest because he knew for a fact he was right. Even if he had no clue, the second Craig smiled at him he knew.  
Hell, most of the guys in the room knew.

“He’s perfect.”

“A toast. To the fags!” Clyde, who was already half drunk raised his glass in the air only to immediately drop it on the floor before the toast could be completed. 

“To Craig finally growing a pair.” Cartman snickered, successfully raising his own glass and taking a long swig of the clear liquid.

“I can drink to that.” The ravenette laughed, finally grabbing the glass he had yet to take a single drink from and tossing a good quarter of it back in celebration of the greatest night of his life. Sitting here, surrounded by all his friends, texting with his boyfriend- he genuinely enjoyed South Park for the very first time. Nothing could bring him down now.

At least, that's what he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you are, over half the fic in one night. Partially because I've been working really hard on fixing it because it was a total mess before. Much more fluff this time around. Let me know what you guys think! I love feedback. <3


	7. I'm sorry

This story is currently on hiatus. I'm in art school and just focusing a lot on that and my job but it will be back one day maybe around the holidays thanks for understanding.


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